The word "attachment" is often used in therapy, but at its heart it's about something deeply human: our need for connection, safety, and belonging. From our earliest relationships, we learn what to expect from others and from ourselves. Were we soothed when we were upset? Did we feel seen, protected, or understood? These early experiences quietly shape how we relate to people later in life.

Attachment patterns can show up in many ways. You might notice anxiety about being left, discomfort with closeness, difficulty trusting others, or a tendency to put others' needs far beyond your own. These patterns are not flaws or failures -they are adaptations. At some point, they likely helped you cope or stay emotionally safe.

Loss plays a powerful role in attachment, too. This might include the death of someone important, but also less visible losses: emotional neglect, separation, divorce, illness, or relationships that never felt secure. When loss occurs, it can profoundly affect how safe the world feels and how we connect with others. Grief does not always look like sadness; it can appear as numbness, anger, fear of closeness or clinging tightly to relationships.

Working with attachment and loss is a specialism of mine. In therapy, we gently explore how your past experiences of connection and loss may still be influencing you today. This isn't about blaming caregivers or reliving pain, but about understanding yourself with compassion. Therapy can offer a safe, consistent relationship where new experiences of trust, safety, and emotional repair can slowly develop.

Attachment patterns are not fixed. With patience, kindness, and the right support, it is possible to heal from loss, soften old defences, and build relationships that feel more secure, balanced and fulfilling.