Understanding Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) and it’s link to ADHD
Understanding Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) and it's link to ADHD
 
Living with ADHD often comes with challenges that aren't always visible to others. One of the least talked about, is something called Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD).
What is RSD?
''Dysphoria'' means intense, overwhelming emotional pain. RSD isn't just feeling sad or disappointed when something doesn't go well; it's a powerful emotional reaction that can feel almost unbearable.
What might it look and feel like?
  • Feeling crushed by criticism, even if it's meant kindly.
  • Reacting with sudden anger or shutting down completely when feeling dismissed.
  • Replaying interactions for days, worrying about whether you've upset someone.
  • Avoiding situations where failure or rejection seem possible.
This isn't about being 'too sensitive' or 'overreacting'. RSD is a real experience, rooted in the way ADHD processes emotions and social signals.
Why is RSD linked to ADHD?
 
ADHD isn't only about attention - it's also about emotional regulation. The ADHD brain can process information quickly and intensely, which often includes emotions. When rejection or criticism enters the picture, the reaction can be amplified.
Some reasons RSD and ADHD are connected.
 
  • Neurological differences: The ADHD brain has differences in how it regulates dopamine; a chemical linked to motivation and reward. Rejection can feel like a sharp loss to that 'reward signal'.
  • Life experience : Many people with ADHD grow up hearing that they are 'lazy,' 'not listening,' 'not trying hard enough' or they are just 'too much'. Over time, this creates sensitivity to rejection because it has been a repeated wound.
  • Hyperfocus on relationships: People with ADHD often care deeply about connection. When they sense disapproval, it can feel devastating.
How does RSD show up day-to-day?
RSD can affect work, relationships, and self-esteem. For example:
  • At work -You might avoid asking questions because you are afraid of seeming 'stupid'.
  • In relationships - You might pull away to protect yourself, even when no rejection has happened.
  • Socially - You might spend hours analyzing a text message, as you are convinced you have upset someone.
The impact is real and can feel exhausting.
What can help?
The good news is that understanding RSD is the first step. While it won't disappear overnight, there are strategies that can help:
  • Name it - Simply knowing RSD exists can reduce shame. You are not 'too sensitive' - you're brain is wired differently.
  • Pause before reacting : When rejection feels overwhelming, give yourself a moment to breath before responding.
  • Challenge old stories: Remind yourself that one piece of criticism does not define your worth.
  • Self-compassion: Treat yourself with the same kindness you'd show to  a friend.
  • Therapy and support: Talking about RSD with a therapist can help you develop coping skills and help towards healing from past experiences.
If you recognise yourself in this description, you are not alone. Many people with ADHD struggle with RSD, and it doesn't mean you are weak or broken. It means you have been carrying an invisible weight - therapy can help lighten that load.

© Michelle Harvey-Fogg

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