As a therapist, one of the things I often notice is how uncomfortable we can become when difficult emotions arise. We might feel anxious, angry, sad or overwhelmed, and our first instinct is to make the feeling go away. We distract ourselves, keep busy, push it down or try to work out why we are feeling this way.

Sometimes, we can even become critical of ourselves for having the emotion in the first place.

From an attachment perspective, I think it is important to consider what we may have learned about emotions early in life. If your feelings weren’t always welcomed, understood or responded to, you may have learned that it was safer to keep them to yourself. You may have become very good at coping, while finding it harder to stay with what you are feeling.

Learning to sit with an emotion doesn’t mean becoming overwhelmed by it. It means slowing down enough to notice what is happening and becoming curious rather than critical. You might ask yourself: What am I feeling? Where do I notice it in my body? What do I need right now?

Sometimes, simply naming what we feel can make it seem a little more manageable. Taking a breath, noticing what is around you and reminding yourself that feelings change can also help.

In therapy, I offer a space where difficult emotions can be explored without judgement and at a pace that feels manageable. You don’t have to face everything all at once.